Friday, October 31, 2008

My Beautiful Baby!!

He chose me! From all the women in the world to be the mother of his only living son!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Although better-known in some circles as an artist, cartoonist and musician, Dame Darcy has also made the Reality TV circuit appearing on the dating shows Blind Date, Third Wheel and Flavor Of Love 3.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

How About a Few Cats Instead?

"My Fake Baby" is a terrifying Channel 4 documentary that is now airing on BBC America. It's about very disturbed women who carry around super-realistic newborn infant dolls and pretend that they are real babies. One can purchase these creepy things here.

Sometimes a woman who has lost her infant asks the company to create a doll that looks just like her dead baby. Sometimes the makers even give the doll a heartbeat and make it look like it's breathing. And sometimes, they attach tubes and wires to the doll, just like the doctors did in the hospital when the baby was in intensive care. Before it died. Did I mention the dolls are made to look like people's dead babies??

I saw the entire documentary online a few months ago, but those limey killjoys have since taken it off of youtube. You can watch scenes on this British morning show:

This is a not-so-live blog of my friend Jon and me discussing the doc while watching clips online. We are not any sicker than any of you.

i may start doing this.

you should jon. at Gelson's. Hey Manny! Have you met my baby?

just some diet coke and baby food for me tonight manny
the babies are $4,000!!!
i'll get a cabbage patch yo
Some customers order special dolls that are exact replicas of their own children who died at birth or in infancy. These are individually made from hand-sculpted clay forms made from photographs of the child.
that's sad

yeah, and weird.
and wrong.

i hope if i die you have one made of me

i already have one, jon.
i shower with it.

i wish
i'm so fucking fascinated with this
it looks pretty damn real
Other ideas can be added such as heartbeat!!!!
why is it called reborning

you should get one and abort it.

snuff it's heartbeat out

you should carry it in one of those baby bjorns and then be really rough with it and bang into things
or birth it!!!
let it drop out of your pants leg
that's the thing to do

i'll just yell PUSH
really loud
to myself

no, you don't yell push
someone else does, you groan

ok u yell push


i'll birth it
then we'll both walk away

put the baby in a trashcan and then walk away

with its leg sticking out

we would get so beat up
i would cut the cord with my teeth
what would the cord be made of?

condoms, syrup and bacon

oh i am going to vomit

vomit while i'm birthing

and cry and wail, "Why am I barren??!!!"
i have to be a woman who is jealous of you

do you think palin would drop out if she was offered a sitcom?
i'm sorry
but if you are going to MAKE a baby
why on earth
would you make an ugly one?

oh i thought you were making fun of palin's retarded baby

the palin thing was a seperate thought
here's $4,000
just make me a real crab apple please

i just laughed so hard

but that's someone's real dead baby!
i mean
give them a better picture yo

you should order one and tell them you want to molest it

i need one with a warm mouth

that likes to be spanked

this is fucked up

this is so disturbing

MEANWHILE, here is how one average American teenage girl who is forced to take care of a pretend/real baby for health class feels. Needless to say, she would rather be hanging out at her boyfriend Greg's house than taking care of a gay baby. He's in a band, but whatever. He plays drums.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Glendale, CA

I brought the mannequins home. I let the Armenian go.

Monday, October 6, 2008

I Can't Hate Palin Enough

This clip is posted on Defamer, but I still felt the need:

Friday, October 3, 2008

Creepy Cute

Laptop Shmaptop

A Chengdu resident suffers from a condition that allows her to use her skin like writing paper. According to 50-year-old Huang Xiangji, when she writes a word on her skin using a fingernail, the letters protrude from her skin a minute or two later. "I used my body as a notebook for years," Huang said. The woman said she had the strange ability even as a little girl and would list goods on her arms before going shopping. On Wednesday, doctors told Huang that she had the condition called artificial urticaria, which has no ill affects.(Chengdu Evening News)

I actually dated a guy in high school whose skin would raise like that if you scratched it. It only lasted for a couple of minutes and then it would fade away. He used to scratch my name onto his arm sometimes. (Awww, puppy love.) I always thought it happened because of malnourishment. He was really skinny and seemed to subsist on nothing but Slush Puppies, Cheez Doodles and Oreos.

I found the story and the pic on Weird Asia News, but I assume the photo is of someone else's legs since the writing is in English. Who is she?

Wednesday, October 1, 2008