I Can't Hate Palin Enough

This clip is posted on Defamer, but I still felt the need:

I Heart Healers

While cleaning out a closet, I found this old newspaper clipping of the late Dr. Velma Jaggers from 1994. I spent Christmas morning that year at her Universal World Church spectacular. Actually, it was more than spectacular. It was, "THE MOST INCREDIBLY MAGNIFICENT CHRISTMAS EVER SEEN BY ANYONE! THE MOST FANTASTIC - MAGNIFICENT - SPLENDIFEROUSLY BEAUTIFUL EVENT IN 6000 YEARS!!" Not only that, but Miss Velma even healed me with her special magic God oil. (I faked a slight limp in case she asked what my problem was.) Oddly, for the rest of the day my forehead smelled just like strawberry Lipsmackers.

Here's an old clip of Miss Velma flying around like the angel she is now in heaven:

Almost Heaven

This is a church down the highway from my sister and brother-in-law's house in West Virginia. Last year it was a strip club and now it's "J.C.'s Hangout."

I don't think I'd sit still for a lap dance or a sermon in there.

Jesus Likes Me, This I Know

...for pop music tells me so...

Thank you, Cinefamily!